ASSISTANT PRINCIPAL'S NEWS
Some of you may be aware that I unfortunately swallowed a fly not so long ago and it was wiggling and jiggling and tickling me inside. I thought that it would be a good idea to swallow a bird to catch the aforementioned fly, however the bird's wiggling and jiggling was even worse. To get rid of the bird I had to swallow a cat. I now find myself in a most unfortunately predicament because the cat is by far the worst at wiggling and jiggling! I also seem to have quite a swollen and uncomfortable stomach.
...No, that's not the true story! Really I have entered a competitive pie eating contest and have been practising most weekends.
...No, that's not true either. I wanted to see if I could fly, so I put a bicycle pump nozzle in my belly button and pumped as much air inside my stomach as I could to see if it would make me light enough to fly. It didn't and that's just ridiculous!
The truth is that a little human has currently taken up residence inside me and is growing day by day. She is due to be born in January 2019. I have decided that I will not work next year, so I can take care of our new family member. I will certainly stay in touch with the school and complete a thorough handover of my responsibilities before I go on leave.
Seaford Park Primary School